For me, Memorial Day always pulls me back to December 1st, 2005. South of Fallujah, inside the compound of a flour factory, an IED was detonated by a pressure plate. Ten Marines were killed. Eleven more were wounded. They weren’t strangers from a history book. Most of us had gone through infantry school together. They were friends. To this day, it remains one of the most impactful experiences of my life. People who have never lived inside a platoon, usually don’t understand the magnitude of what gets lost when something like that happens. It’s not just names or people you know. It’s real connections and inside jokes with stranger who over months of shared trauma became the closest friendships of your life. It rips your heart out. I tried EMDR therapy for the first time recently and this is what came up for me. Initially an overwhelming sadness for them and their families that I can't imagine ever not feeling. As I sat with that longer and longer, I began to appreciate it. I realized I don't want it to go away. I don't want to forget. I don't want to think about them and feel nothing. So what do I do with it? I don't really know, but for now I've settled on accepting that I don't want to put it down yet. I want to carry them and if sadness is the feeling then I'll sit in sadness when I have to. For them. And in that realization it shifted from a burden I've carried for 25 years to a badge of honor I keep for their sake. Maybe one day I'll be ready to put it down. But for now, it's mine. And I'll toast to their sacrifice and the pain it produces because it was real. So while everybody else celebrates the long weekend, take a minute and learn one name. Read one story. Look at one photograph of the sacrifices made over the years. Understand that every headstone in places like Arlington Cemetery, was somebody’s best friend, sitting around a fire, making everybody laugh with a penis joke. May you have a deeply memorable Memorial Day. RIP: SSgt Daniel Clay. Sgt Andy Stevens. Cpl Anthony McElveen. LCpl Craig Watson. LCpl Scott Modeen. LCpl Andrew Patten. LCpl Robert Martinez. LCpl Adam Kaiser. LCpl David Huhn. LCpl Holmason.